Calming Bedtime Activities (No Equipment Needed)

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You don't need expensive sensory products to help your child with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences sleep better. The most effective calming techniques use nothing more than your own presence, your hands, and your voice.

This guide covers proven, evidence-based techniques that occupational therapists recommend—all completely free and available tonight.

Table of Contents

• Parent-Provided Deep Pressure
• Heavy Work Without Equipment
• Breathing Techniques for Children
• Body-Based Calming Strategies
• Connection Activities
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation
• Creating Routine Without Products
• Frequently Asked Questions

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Parent-Provided Deep Pressure

Your hands can provide the same calming deep pressure as weighted blankets and compression garments. The key is technique—firm, consistent pressure that activates the proprioceptive system.

Firm Massage Techniques

Unlike relaxation massage, sensory massage uses firm, sustained pressure:

Long Strokes:

• Use flat palms with fingers together
• Move slowly from extremities toward the heart (feet to hips, hands to shoulders)
• Maintain consistent, firm pressure throughout the stroke
• Repeat each limb 5-10 times

Squeezing:

• Wrap hands around the arm or leg
• Squeeze firmly (not painfully) for 3-5 seconds
• Release and move to the next section
• Work systematically from extremities toward core

Back Massage:

• Child lies face down on the bed
• Use flat palms for long strokes down the back
• Add firm circles along either side of the spine (never directly on spine)
• Finish with broad, warming strokes

Tips for Success:

• Lotion or oil reduces friction and adds tactile input
• Warm your hands first
• Maintain rhythmic, predictable movements
• Communicate what you're doing ("Now I'm going to squeeze your arms")

Joint Compressions

A technique developed by occupational therapists that systematically provides pressure to major joints:

Technique:

1. Support the limb with one hand
2. With the other hand, gently but firmly press the joint together
3. Hold for 2-3 seconds
4. Release and move to the next joint

Sequence (start at extremities, move toward core):

• Fingers → Wrists → Elbows → Shoulders
• Toes → Ankles → Knees → Hips

This can become a predictable, comforting ritual—same sequence every night.

The "Burrito" Wrap

Swaddling isn't just for babies. Older children often love being wrapped tightly in a blanket:

How to do it:

1. Lay a blanket flat on the bed
2. Child lies across the blanket, arms at sides
3. Fold one side over the child, tucking under their body
4. Fold the other side over, tucking underneath
5. Result: Child is wrapped snugly like a burrito

Variations:

• Leave arms out if child prefers
• Apply gentle pressure while wrapped (firm hugs through the blanket)
• Unwrap slowly when done (sudden unwrapping can be jarring)

Firm Hugging

Sometimes the simplest approach is best:

Bear Hug: Wrap your arms around the child and squeeze firmly. Hold for 10-20 seconds or until they indicate they're ready to release.

Sandwich Squish: Child lies between two pillows (or between parent and mattress) for gentle, sustained compression.

Tight Tuck: After the child is in bed, tuck blankets firmly around the body, pressing the edges under the mattress to create continuous pressure.

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Heavy Work Without Equipment

Heavy work—activities that involve pushing, pulling, lifting, or carrying—provides proprioceptive input that regulates the nervous system. No equipment required.

Wall Exercises

Wall Pushes: Stand facing the wall, arms extended, and push as if trying to move the wall. Hold for 10 seconds, release. Repeat 10 times.

Wall Sits: Back against the wall, slide down until thighs are parallel to the floor. Hold as long as comfortable. This provides intense lower body proprioceptive input.

Wall Angels: Back against the wall, arms in "goal post" position, slide arms up and down while keeping contact with the wall. Good for upper body activation.

Animal Walks

Bear Walk: Hands and feet on the ground, bottom up in the air. Walk forward, then backward. Excellent full-body heavy work.

Crab Walk: Sitting position, hands behind, lift hips off the ground and walk backward on hands and feet. Intense upper body work.

Frog Jumps: Deep squat, jump forward, land in squat. Repeat across the room. Significant lower body proprioceptive input.

Penguin Walk: Arms tight at sides, waddle with stiff legs. Engages core and legs.

Wheelbarrow Walk: Parent holds child's legs while child walks on hands. Intense upper body work.

Body Weight Exercises

Squats: Simple squats before bed—start with 10, adjust based on child's needs.

Jumping Jacks: Brief bursts of jumping provide full-body proprioceptive input.

Mountain Climbers: From push-up position, alternate bringing knees to chest rapidly.

Push-Ups (or modified): Even a few push-ups provide significant upper body input.

Donkey Kicks: On hands and knees, kick legs back one at a time.

Using Household Items

Carrying Heavy Books: Stack books for the child to carry from one room to another.

Laundry Basket Haul: Let them push or carry the laundry basket (even empty, it provides resistance).

Furniture Helping: "Help me push this chair over here" provides meaningful heavy work.

Water Bottles: Carry full water bottles from the kitchen—simple, purposeful weight.

For more no-equipment sensory activities, see our guides to vestibular activities without equipment and tactile activities without equipment.

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Breathing Techniques for Children

Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system—the body's "rest and digest" mode. For children, breathing exercises need to be concrete and engaging.

4-7-8 Breathing (Simplified)

For older children:

• Breathe in for 4 counts
• Hold for 7 counts
• Breathe out for 8 counts
• Repeat 3-4 times

For younger children (simplified):

• Breathe in for 4 counts ("smell the flower")
• Breathe out for 6 counts ("blow out the candle")
• Repeat 3-5 times

Belly Breathing

Help children understand diaphragmatic breathing:

1. Child lies on back with hand on belly
2. "Breathe in through your nose and make your belly push your hand up like a balloon"
3. "Now breathe out slowly and feel your hand go back down"
4. Practice until the rhythm feels natural

You can place a small stuffed animal on their belly to watch it rise and fall.

Square Breathing (Box Breathing)

Visualize breathing as drawing a square:

• Breathe in while "drawing" the first side (4 counts)
• Hold while "drawing" the second side (4 counts)
• Breathe out while "drawing" the third side (4 counts)
• Hold while "drawing" the fourth side (4 counts)
• Repeat

Trace a square in the air or on their back as a visual cue.

Breathing with Movement

Mountain Breath: Breathe in while raising arms overhead; breathe out while lowering arms slowly.

Shoulder Rolls: Breathe in while rolling shoulders up and back; breathe out as they complete the circle forward.

Accordion Arms: Hands together in front of chest, breathe in while opening arms wide, breathe out while bringing palms back together.

Tips for Teaching Breathing

• Practice during calm times first, not only at bedtime
• Keep it playful, not forced
• Model the breathing yourself—children follow what they see
• Use visual imagery appropriate to their interests ("breathe out like a dragon," "smell the pizza")
• If they resist, try simpler techniques or just model without requiring participation

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Body-Based Calming Strategies

These strategies use the body itself to create calming sensory input.

Self-Squeezes

Teach your child to provide their own deep pressure:

Hand Squeezes: Interlace fingers and squeeze hands together firmly. Hold 5 seconds, release.

Arm Hugs: Cross arms and squeeze opposite shoulders firmly. Hold, release.

Hand Presses: Press palms together firmly in front of chest (prayer position). Hold 10 seconds, release.

Leg Squeezes: Lying down, squeeze thighs together firmly. Hold, release.

Isometric Exercises

Muscle tension followed by release is inherently calming:

Tense and Release: Tense a muscle group (arms, legs, face), hold for 5-10 seconds, then release completely. The release feels calming after the tension.

Push-Pull: Push palms together in front of chest (tension), then slowly release. Or hook fingers and pull apart.

Chin Tuck: Press chin toward chest while resisting with hand under chin. Hold, release.

Temperature Awareness

Warm Hands, Warm Body: Rub hands together vigorously to warm them, then place on cheeks or eyes. The warmth is calming.

Cooling Breath: Breathe in through nose, out through pursed lips (like cooling hot soup). The extended exhale activates the parasympathetic system.

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Connection Activities

Calm connection activities provide emotional regulation that complements physical regulation.

Structured Conversation

Rose and Thorn: Share one good thing (rose) and one hard thing (thorn) from the day. Keep it brief—this is processing, not problem-solving.

Gratitude Three: Each person names three things they're grateful for. End on a positive note.

Tomorrow Talk: Brief discussion of what's happening tomorrow—provides predictability that reduces anxiety.

Important: These conversations should happen during the wind-down routine, not in bed with lights out. Conversation in bed can extend wakefulness.

Quiet Together Time

Reading Together: A classic for a reason—combines closeness with calm activity. Let the child choose (within limits).

Listening to Music: Calm, instrumental music while lying together. No singing along—just listening.

Watching the Ceiling: Lie together in dim light, just being present. No conversation required—presence itself is regulating.

Touch-Based Connection

Hair Stroking: Long, slow strokes through hair (if tolerated).

Forehead Touch: Gentle, sustained contact—your forehead to theirs or your hand on their forehead.

Back Tracing: Trace letters, shapes, or pictures on their back—they guess what you're drawing.

Hand Holding: Simple hand-holding while lying quietly can be deeply regulating.

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Progressive Muscle Relaxation

PMR is an evidence-based technique that systematically tenses and releases muscle groups, creating full-body relaxation.

Child-Friendly Script

Guide your child through each body part:

Feet: "Curl your toes really tight... hold it... now let them go all soft and floppy."

Legs: "Make your legs stiff like a robot... hold it... now let them melt into the bed like butter."

Tummy: "Squeeze your tummy muscles tight like you're trying to be really thin... hold it... now let your tummy be soft like a pillow."

Hands: "Make tight fists, squeeze really hard... hold it... now open your hands and let your fingers be loose."

Arms: "Make your arms stiff and strong like a superhero... hold it... now let them flop down like cooked spaghetti."

Shoulders: "Bring your shoulders up to your ears, really high... hold it... now let them drop down heavy and relaxed."

Face: "Scrunch up your whole face, eyes squeezed shut, nose wrinkled... hold it... now let your face go smooth and calm."

Whole body: "One more time—tense everything, make your whole body stiff... hold it... and release. Feel how calm and heavy your body is."

Tips for PMR

• Use a calm, slow voice
• Match their developmental level (simpler for younger children)
• Practice during the day before using at bedtime
• It's okay if they giggle at first—keep going
• Can be abbreviated once they know the sequence

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Creating Routine Without Products

You can build a complete sensory bedtime routine using only the techniques in this guide.

Sample 40-Minute Routine (No Equipment)

| Time Before Bed | Activity | Purpose | |-----------------|----------|---------| | 40 min | Animal walks around the room (5 min) | Heavy work | | 35 min | Bath/shower with firm washcloth scrub | Deep pressure + hygiene | | 25 min | Get into pajamas | Practical | | 22 min | 10 wall pushes + 10 squats | Final heavy work | | 18 min | Joint compressions (parent provides) | Deep pressure | | 12 min | Into bed, firm blanket tuck | Environment | | 10 min | Reading together (2 books) | Calm connection | | 3 min | 5 deep breaths together | Final regulation | | 0 min | Goodnight, lights out | Sleep |

Key Principles

Consistency: Same sequence every night, even if timing varies slightly.

Progression: Active → Passive → Still (energy decreases throughout).

Predictability: Child knows what comes next without being told.

Connection: Parent presence and interaction throughout.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What if my child won't participate in breathing exercises?

Don't force it. Instead:

• Model the breathing yourself—they may join naturally
• Make it a game rather than a requirement
• Try during calm times, not only at bedtime
• Use physical alternatives (self-squeezes, PMR) instead

Some children regulate better through physical activities than through breathing exercises, and that's okay.

How firm should massage pressure be?

Firm enough that it doesn't tickle but not so firm that it's painful. If your child giggles or pulls away, increase pressure. If they wince or complain, decrease it. The goal is steady, grounding pressure—more like a firm hug than a light stroke.

My child is too hyper for these calm activities. What should I do?

If they're too activated for calm activities, they need more heavy work first. Extend the active phase (animal walks, jumping, carrying) until you see them naturally begin to slow down. Then transition to deep pressure and calm activities.

Can these techniques replace weighted blankets and other tools?

For many families, yes—these techniques provide the same type of sensory input. However, tools like weighted blankets provide sustained input throughout the night, which hands-on techniques can't replicate. Some families use these techniques for the routine and tools for overnight.

How long until we see results?

Most families notice some improvement within 1-2 weeks of consistent practice. Full benefits typically emerge after 4-6 weeks as the routine becomes predictable and the child's nervous system learns to expect and respond to the sensory input.

What if different caregivers do bedtime?

Write down the routine steps so anyone can follow them. The specific person matters less than the consistent sequence. Even if execution varies slightly, the same order of activities provides predictability.

My child has tactile defensiveness and hates being touched.

Proprioceptive input (heavy work) is usually better tolerated than direct touch. Focus on:

• Activities they do themselves (wall pushes, squats, self-squeezes)
• Firm pressure rather than light touch
• Predictable touch (telling them exactly what you'll do before doing it)
• Gradual desensitization over time

Can I combine these with equipment-based strategies?

Absolutely. Many families use these techniques during the routine and then add tools like weighted blankets or compression pajamas for overnight. The techniques prepare the nervous system; the tools maintain regulation through the night.

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Going Beyond No-Equipment Strategies

While everything in this guide works without any purchases, some families find that adding specific tools enhances their routine:

• Weighted blankets provide sustained deep pressure throughout the night
• Compression pajamas offer all-over pressure that doesn't require parent involvement
• White noise machines mask environmental sounds that might cause waking
• Bedtime oral sensory tools address oral seeking needs

For a comprehensive approach combining techniques and tools, see our complete guide to sleep and bedtime sensory solutions for autism and ADHD.

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Conclusion

The most powerful sensory tools for bedtime are free: your hands, your presence, and your consistency. Professional equipment can enhance sleep support, but it can't replace the regulating power of connected, predictable, sensory-rich bedtime rituals.

Tonight, you can:

• Provide joint compressions while talking about the day
• Do 10 wall pushes and 10 squats together
• Wrap your child in a blanket burrito
• Practice 5 deep breaths before lights out
• Firmly tuck blankets around their body

No shopping required. Start tonight, stay consistent, and watch sleep improve.