Bedtime Routine Strategies for Sensory Seekers

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Sensory-seeking children don't wind down by sitting still—they wind down by getting enough input to satisfy their nervous system's needs. This is counterintuitive for many parents, who assume that calmer activities earlier in the evening will lead to better sleep. For sensory seekers, the opposite is often true.

A child who hasn't received enough proprioceptive input during the day will seek it at bedtime—bouncing on the bed, crashing into pillows, running laps, or simply refusing to settle. The solution isn't to eliminate movement. It's to provide strategic, calming movement as part of a structured bedtime routine.

Table of Contents

• Understanding Sensory Seeking at Bedtime
• The Three-Phase Bedtime Routine
• Sample Routines by Age
• Heavy Work Activities for Bedtime
• Deep Pressure Techniques
• Visual Schedules and Supports
• Troubleshooting Common Problems
• Frequently Asked Questions

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Understanding Sensory Seeking at Bedtime

Sensory seekers have high neurological thresholds—their brains require more intense or more frequent sensory input to reach optimal arousal levels. Without enough input, they feel dysregulated, restless, and unable to settle.

Why Seekers Struggle at Bedtime

Bedtime asks sensory seekers to do something difficult: stop seeking input and lie still in a quiet, dark room. Their nervous systems may interpret this as sensory deprivation.

Common signs of unmet sensory needs at bedtime:

• Bouncing, jumping, or climbing in bed
• Asking for "one more" (hug, story, drink) repeatedly
• Grinding teeth, biting, or mouthing objects
• Tossing and turning for long periods
• Getting out of bed repeatedly
• Requesting physical contact (cuddles, holding hands)

These behaviors aren't defiance—they're attempts to meet sensory needs.

The Organizing Power of Proprioceptive Input

Proprioception—the sense of body position and pressure in muscles and joints—is universally calming. Unlike vestibular input (which can be alerting) or tactile input (which varies by profile), proprioceptive input calms almost everyone.

Heavy work activities provide intense proprioceptive input that:

• Releases neurotransmitters that promote calm
• Gives the seeking nervous system the "dose" it needs
• Creates a sense of being grounded and organized
• Transitions the body from active to receptive states

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The Three-Phase Bedtime Routine

An effective sensory bedtime routine progresses through three distinct phases, gradually decreasing activity level while maintaining sensory input.

Phase 1: Heavy Work (30+ minutes before bed)

Goal: Satisfy the seeking nervous system with intense proprioceptive input.

Duration: 10-15 minutes of active input

Activities:

• Wall pushes or pushing against resistance
• Animal walks (bear walks, crab walks)
• Carrying heavy items (laundry basket, books)
• Squeezing and kneading (therapy putty, dough)
• Wheelbarrow walking (parent holds legs)
• Jumping on a mini trampoline
• Gentle swinging (linear motion is calming)

Key principle: This phase is active and should feel like play, not work. End while the child is still engaged—don't push to fatigue.

Phase 2: Deep Pressure (15-30 minutes before bed)

Goal: Transition from active to passive while maintaining proprioceptive input.

Duration: 10-15 minutes

Activities:

• Joint compressions (systematic pressing of joints)
• Massage with firm pressure
• "Burrito" wrapping in blankets
• Rolling on therapy ball or over pillows
• Brushing protocol (if trained by OT)
• Applying lotion with firm strokes
• Tight hugs or "squishes"

Key principle: The child receives input rather than seeking it. They're transitioning from active participant to passive recipient.

Phase 3: Calm Connection (Final 10-15 minutes)

Goal: Predictable, quiet bonding that signals sleep is coming.

Duration: 10-15 minutes

Activities:

• Reading together
• Quiet conversation about the day
• Listening to calm music
• Deep breathing exercises
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Visualization or guided imagery
• Prayers, affirmations, or gratitude practice

Key principle: This phase is about emotional connection and predictability, not sensory input. The sensory work has been done; now we're settling.

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Sample Routines by Age

Toddlers (Ages 2-4): 30-40 Minutes

| Time Before Bed | Activity | Sensory Purpose | |-----------------|----------|-----------------| | 40 min | Animal walks around the room | Heavy work | | 35 min | Squish and roll on bed with pillows | Proprioceptive + vestibular | | 30 min | Bath with firm washcloth rubbing | Deep pressure | | 20 min | Lotion massage (firm pressure) | Deep pressure | | 15 min | Get into compression sleep sack | Ongoing pressure | | 10 min | Two books, parent reading | Calm connection | | 5 min | "Burrito wrap" in blanket | Final deep pressure | | 0 min | Lights out, sound machine on | Sleep environment |

School Age (Ages 5-10): 45-60 Minutes

| Time Before Bed | Activity | Sensory Purpose | |-----------------|----------|-----------------| | 60 min | Active play outside or heavy work | Burn energy, proprioception | | 45 min | Shower/bath ends, pajamas on | Transition | | 40 min | 5 wall pushes + 10 jump squats | Final heavy work | | 35 min | Joint compressions (parent-provided) | Deep pressure transition | | 25 min | Brush teeth, bathroom routine | Practical tasks | | 20 min | Get under weighted blanket | Ongoing pressure | | 15 min | Reading together (1-2 chapters) | Calm connection | | 5 min | Deep breathing (3-5 breaths) | Final regulation | | 0 min | Lights out, goodnight | Sleep |

Tweens/Teens (Ages 11+): 30-45 Minutes

| Time Before Bed | Activity | Sensory Purpose | |-----------------|----------|-----------------| | 45 min | Workout, sports, or heavy chores | Heavy work (self-directed) | | 30 min | Shower/bath | Transition | | 20 min | Self-massage or foam rolling | Deep pressure (independent) | | 15 min | Under weighted blanket, phone away | Environment + pressure | | 10 min | Reading or audiobook | Calm transition | | 5 min | Deep breathing or meditation app | Final regulation | | 0 min | Lights out | Sleep |

Note for teens: Involve them in designing their routine. Autonomy matters more than perfection. A routine they chose and do independently beats a "perfect" routine they resist.

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Heavy Work Activities for Bedtime

Heavy work activities provide the proprioceptive input that regulates sensory seekers. These can be incorporated into the bedtime routine or done earlier in the evening.

Upper Body Heavy Work

Wall Pushes: Stand facing the wall, arms extended, and push as if trying to move the wall. Hold for 5-10 seconds, release. Repeat 5-10 times.

Chair Pushups: Sit in a sturdy chair, hands on seat beside hips, and push down to lift body slightly off the seat. Hold, release. Repeat.

Theraband Pulls: Stretch resistance bands in various patterns—pulling apart, overhead, across chest. Good for any age.

Pillow Squeezes: Hug a pillow tightly, squeeze for 5-10 seconds, release. The pillow can also be squeezed between knees.

Lower Body Heavy Work

Jump Squats: Squat down, then jump up, landing softly back in squat. For younger children, just jumping in place helps.

Stair Climbing: Walking up and down stairs before bed, especially if carrying something.

Bear Walking: Hands and feet on the ground, bottom up, walking like a bear. Excellent full-body heavy work.

Frog Jumps: Crouch like a frog, jump forward, land in crouch again. Can be done across a room.

Whole Body Heavy Work

Wheelbarrow Walking: Parent holds child's legs while child walks on hands. Significant upper body input.

Body Squishes: Child lies face down while parent applies firm pressure with hands, flat along the body.

Rolling: Roll across the bed or floor, wrapped in a blanket or just rolling freely.

Carrying Heavy Items: "Help me carry the laundry" or "bring these books to your room" provides purposeful heavy work.

For more movement activities, see our guide to vestibular activities for autism without equipment.

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Deep Pressure Techniques

After active heavy work, deep pressure continues providing proprioceptive input in a more passive way.

Joint Compressions

A systematic technique taught by occupational therapists:

1. Start with shoulders—place hands on either side, press gently but firmly toward the body
2. Move to elbows—support the arm, press the joint together
3. Wrists—press gently
4. Hands—press palms together
5. Hips—press down through the hips (child sitting or lying)
6. Knees—press gently toward body
7. Ankles—support leg, press ankle joint
8. Feet—press palms against soles

This sequence can become a predictable, comforting part of the bedtime routine.

Massage with Intent

Bedtime massage should use firm pressure (light touch can be alerting):

• Long, smooth strokes along arms and legs (toward the heart)
• Firm circles on the back
• Squeezing motion along muscles (not tickling)
• Consistent pressure—no sudden changes

Use lotion to reduce friction and add a tactile component.

Blanket Techniques

Burrito Wrap: Roll the child snugly in a blanket, tucking sides underneath. Many children find this deeply calming. Ensure they can free themselves if desired.

Tight Tucking: Tuck blankets firmly under the mattress on all sides. The sustained pressure throughout the night helps some children.

Weighted Blanket Placement: Ensure the weighted blanket is positioned correctly—covering from shoulders to feet, not bunched up.

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Visual Schedules and Supports

Many children with autism and ADHD benefit from visual supports during the bedtime routine.

Why Visual Schedules Help

• Reduce verbal prompting: The schedule communicates expectations instead of parent nagging
• Provide predictability: Children see exactly what comes next
• Support transitions: Moving through steps is concrete, not abstract
• Build independence: Children can follow the routine with less adult direction

Creating an Effective Visual Schedule

Format Options:

• Picture cards (photos or symbols)
• Written checklist (for readers)
• App-based digital schedule
• Physical board with moveable pieces

Key Elements:

• Include all steps (even "obvious" ones like "put on pajamas")
• Use consistent images each night
• Allow the child to mark completion (moving a card, checking a box)
• Position at child's eye level in the bedroom

Sample Visual Schedule:

1. Animal walks (picture of bear)
2. Bath time (picture of bathtub)
3. Pajamas (picture of pajamas)
4. Wall pushes (picture of wall/hands)
5. Massage time (picture of hands)
6. Brush teeth (picture of toothbrush)
7. Use bathroom (picture of toilet)
8. Stories (picture of books)
9. Lights out (picture of bed with eyes closed)

Visual Timers

For children who struggle with time perception:

• Timer shows how long until the next step
• Reduces "how much longer?" questions
• Makes time concrete and visible
• Options: sand timers, digital countdown timers, apps

"When the red is gone, we move to stories" provides clear expectations.

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Troubleshooting Common Problems

Problem: Child Still Has Energy After Heavy Work

Try:

• More intense activities (more resistance, more repetitions)
• Earlier start time for heavy work
• Adding a second round of movement if needed
• Checking if daytime sensory input is sufficient

Problem: Child Gets Wound Up Instead of Calm

Check:

• Are activities too alerting? (Spinning = alerting; linear swinging = calming)
• Is the timing right? Movement should end 15-20 minutes before bed
• Is there enough transition time between active and calm phases?
• Consider removing vestibular input and focusing solely on proprioceptive

Problem: Routine Takes Too Long

Adjust by:

• Identifying which elements are essential vs. nice-to-have
• Combining steps (lotion massage during story time)
• Starting the routine earlier rather than rushing
• Accepting that some children need longer routines

Problem: Child Resists the Routine

Consider:

• Is there choice within structure? ("Which animal walk tonight?")
• Is the child involved in creating the routine?
• Are any steps aversive that could be modified?
• Is there a power struggle that needs different intervention?

Problem: Routine Works Initially Then Stops Working

Evaluate:

• Has anything changed (stress, schedule, medications)?
• Are sensory needs changing with development?
• Does the routine need refreshing (new activities, same concepts)?
• Is the child getting enough sensory input during the day?

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if my child is a sensory seeker?

Sensory seekers often:

• Constantly touch people and objects
• Love rough-and-tumble play
• Appear to have endless energy
• Enjoy tight hugs and heavy blankets
• Seek out movement and crashing activities
• Don't seem to notice pain as much as other children

If these descriptions fit your child, they likely benefit from seeking-oriented bedtime routines.

Won't active play before bed make my child more hyper?

This is a common concern, but proprioceptive input (heavy work) is different from general excitement. Jumping on a trampoline for 5 minutes to burn energy is calming because it provides deep muscle input. Playing a video game for 5 minutes is alerting because it provides stimulation without physical regulation. The type of activity matters more than the activity level.

What if my child is both seeking AND avoiding?

Many children are mixed—seeking in some areas, avoiding in others. Design the routine around what they seek (usually proprioceptive and movement input) while respecting what they avoid (perhaps light touch or certain textures). Heavy work and deep pressure are almost universally accepted.

Can I do the routine if I work evenings?

Yes—the routine can be done by any caregiver who knows the sequence. Visual schedules help maintain consistency across caregivers. The key is same sequence every night, even if different people implement it.

My child won't let me touch them for massage. What alternatives work?

Self-applied pressure works well:

• Rolling on therapy balls
• Using a body roller
• Lying under weighted blanket
• Squeezing their own hands and arms
• Using a vibrating massage tool
• Compression pajamas that provide constant pressure

How long until we see results?

Most families see some improvement within 1-2 weeks of consistent implementation. Full benefits often take 4-6 weeks as the nervous system adapts to the predictable input. Consistency matters more than perfection—do the routine every night, even if imperfectly.

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Tools That Support the Routine

While many heavy work activities require no equipment, certain tools enhance the bedtime routine:

For Heavy Work:

• Mini trampoline (evening jumping)
• Therapy putty or resistance putty
• Resistance bands (Therabands)
• Sensory swing (linear movement)

For Deep Pressure:

• Weighted blanket
• Compression pajamas
• Weighted lap pad
• Body sock (lycra enclosure)

For Calm Phase:

• Calming audiobooks or music
• Breathing tools (pinwheel, breathing ball)
• Soft fidgets (not stimulating ones)
• Dim lighting

For no-cost alternatives to all of these, see our guide to calming bedtime activities without equipment.

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Conclusion

Sensory-seeking children don't need less stimulation at bedtime—they need the right kind of stimulation. A structured routine that moves from active heavy work through deep pressure to calm connection satisfies their nervous system's needs while preparing the body for sleep.

Key principles to remember:

1. Heavy work first: Proprioceptive input is universally calming and should start the routine
2. Gradual progression: Move from active to passive over 30-60 minutes
3. Consistency matters: Same sequence every night builds neurological expectation
4. Seek feedback: Your child's behavior tells you what's working
5. Adapt by age: What works for toddlers differs from what works for teens

The goal isn't a perfectly calm child from 6pm onward—it's a child whose sensory needs are met enough that their nervous system can settle into sleep when the time comes.

For more on the complete approach to sensory sleep solutions, see our comprehensive guide to sleep and bedtime sensory solutions for autism and ADHD.